Don't buy the hype

How to green your holiday season

This year, because of the pandemic, the urge might be to just blanket the bottom of the Christmas tree with gifts.

But what if we decide that drastic situations mean we need to take drastic measures? What if we learn from Corona’s lessons in living without the things we thought we couldn’t survive without and try a new tactic? And what if we get our loved ones in on the pact?

This year let’s create meaning this holiday season without buying into the hype and supporting the corporations actively causing our climate crisis that make us feel like we have to keep getting new stuff.

Photo by Michele Bigley

Getting family and friends on board

Since my sons were babies, come December, our house overflowed with plastic-wrapped plastic that my kids broke, or tired of, within minutes. We tried to inspire our friends and family to participate in our goals to create sustainable holiday practices in our house, but the stuff just kept coming.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciated friends and family doting on my kiddos with Lego and soccer cards and new board games. However, I didn’t want the societal expectations of the Holidays to make us lose sight of our goals to be caretakers for the planet.

A couple years ago my family opted for a different holiday approach. We asked our families to hold off on gifting us stuff. Clearly having “The Talk” was challenging—especially when it came to grandparents, generous friends, and aunts and uncles. On some level, we have to accept that giving bike bells and bouncy chairs was the way that some people want (and need) to show their love. It’s hard, especially for the Boomers who adore our kids, people who have long understood the holidays as a time of giving some thing, to change their perspective.

Think of The Talk as our gift back to the people we love. Frame The Talk as the gift we want our family members to give us, something more sustainable, something richer, something that holds more value, something we’ll remember as their legacy. And if you really want to get real, tell them all you want Santa to bring for Christmas is some help fixing our climate crisis.

And then, if they don’t listen, you can pat yourself on the back for trying, and ensure that after our children use that heap of plastic, we’ll regift it to a good home.

Ask for Experiences

This dang pandemic has spotlighted all we can’t do. Why not let the holidays this year help us create ways we can have experiences together. Writer Shannon Brescher Shea explained that each year her family does an activity Advent Calendar where they do something together each day. This would be a great way to include the grandparents, extended family and neighbors in safe activities like decorating a neighborhood tree or singing carols outside.

Our kids are desperate for stuff to do, and parents are aching for ways to get them off screens. Ask your family and friends to plan an event like a walk through the neighborhoods to look at holiday lights, an outside (masked and distanced) chance to decorate the cookies you baked them, or singing carols around a fire pit are just a few fun ways to inspire meaningful connection with young people. Maybe each person who participates brings something they made, or something from their house to gift another person (instead of buying some random secret Santa gift). That way the thing you got reminds you (and the kids) of the experience.

Big ticket experience gift idea: Our planet’s museums are suffering, big time. What if we all bought one kid in our lives a membership to the nearby science or art museum, or even the zoo to ensure its existence in the post-pandemic world. This way, you get activities, quality time, and support a local treasure in need.

Stuff

Before you add more stuff to your house, look around and see what you can purge. This fall, we gathered a bunch of our old (and very loved) clothes, books and toys and are offering it to people affected by the CZU Lightning complex fires. Look around your community. Can you gift a sleeping bag or old blanket to someone in need? Can you round up all those old hotel sample shampoos and donate them to the homeless shelter? Who needs stuff you have? And more importantly, invite your kids to participate in the giving of your previously loved things to new homes!

Maybe do a book exchange with another family to share books your family loves. Or you might gift a younger child your kid’s old bike. One year I gave my nieces all my old Barbies (don’t judge, I grew up spending a ton of time alone on a farm in Ohio). Another year, my nieces got my old letterman jacket. Think about the stuff gathering dust in the attic and gift it to someone else who might adore it as much as you once did. This helps keep trash from the landfill and makes another child happy.

Surely the kids in your lives will want (or need) some new stuff. Instead of getting them a big ass box of plastic wrapped Lego bricks, or a buttload of stuff just for the sake of giving them something, this year, let’s all consider buying secondhand. One year we scored a big ass box of Lego bricks from a family up the street for less than $20. Another year, Kai’s favorite holiday gift was a hand-me-down first-gen iPad. Stuff doesn’t have to be new to be meaningful.

Moms and dads: I hear you out there grumbling. But my kid really wants that Lego set. Or, but my parents really want to get them something new. Take a deep breath, suck it up and accept that we aren’t perfect. One meaningful new thing is not the end of the world. Do the best you can. Even not buying less of the hype this year is better than what you might have done last year.

Here are some other great ideas for secondhand gifts I found, and a few more here. Got more ideas?

Gifts for the Earth

Lastly, I know it’s not sexy, but think about how you can gift some good for the planet with your holiday gifts. Many zoos and wildlife organizations allow you to adopt an endangered animal for a small fee. My kids loved getting to decide on which animal they wanted to support, and getting little notes in the mail about “their” wolves and hawks was a bonus perk.

This year (spoiler alert), we’re buying plants for the people we love’s gardens. Writer Shannon Brescher Shea and her kids use the OxFam catalogue to purchase something like a goat for a family in need. My friend Ana Paola has been urging everyone in her community to help people who lost homes, and regenerate the land affected by, the CZU Lightning Complex fires.

This week’s action:

With the holidays drawing near, find one way to green your holiday giving. One change can be a start to making a world of difference.

Start small:

• Find the secondhand (and locally-owned) stores in your community.

• Find ways to support people in your neighborhood who use Earth-friendly materials and use your cash for good and supporting a local business.

• Can you make gifts from stuff someone else might have thrown away?

• Can you use experiences as gifts?

Got a great idea? Want to start a campaign for our readers to support a specific organization, or environmentally-friendly artist during the holidays? Share it in the comments below.

On a personal note, a special thanks

Friends, I want to toss a special thanks out to all of you. I started this newsletter after a crushing writing rejection for my book project. I decided to find out if people out there were interested in what I was writing.

Your love, dedication, and commitment to this work has inspired me so much. In fact this holiday-themed post was inspired by a note from a friend looking for ways to keep her values in the holiday season. This newsletter is my gift to you. We are a community and I am so honored to get to share all the amazing work this parent squad is doing as climate warriors.

Thank you for going on this journey with me.

Thank you for your amazing comments and sharing your environmental successes, and opening your hearts to this work.

We are helping each other figure out how to parent in the Anthropocene together.

Growing Sustainable Together book giveaway ends Tuesday December 1!

Want a free copy of Shannon Brescher Shea’s book Growing Sustainable Together? Here’s how to enter!

1. Share this post with an eco-minded friend

2. If we’re not already connected, follow me on Instagram and Twitter.

3. Follow Shannon on Instagram and Twitter

4. Tag a friend (or as many as you want) on my Instagram post for the giveaway.